Why do I have to come home!!

Hello,

I know it has been a long time.........again. But I have been very active in the last few weeks, no rest for the wicked eh!!

Happy reading, I've only got a few weeks left, bollocks!!


Day 127

Well I just chilled and caught up of my website, watched a couple of films. Pretty sweet. Amy and I planned to make our own "Gourmet" pizza's, so I went and got my ingredients. But, as it turned out, I didn't need them, she left her purse in work and so she couldn't pay her bill in the supermarket. Bloody women. Anyway, we decided to do it tomorrow. So, we went to this Jazz club in the city centre (called manchester lane) for a spot of food and a nice little bottle of wine. How pleasant, then an early night.

Day 128

I prepared all my stuff for leaving and watched a few more films. Being a bit of a movie buff, I couldn't believe how many films Amy and her friends had that I had never seen. Anyway, when Amy got home, we made out gourmet pizza's. Her's really was gourmet, camabert and salmon, made mine look like a piece of shit. My pizza consisted of 2 cheeses (red leicester and chedder), red and green peppers, chilli's, tomato, red onion, pepperoni, sweetcorn and some ham. Very nice it was too. Amy's friend came over, who was very nice and we had some wine and a chat. I then went around saying goodbye to all the people in the house, as I probably wouldn't see them in the morning. It's all so sad to leave.

Day 129

I got up fairly early to make my way to the airport to get my budget flight to Sydney. As I got to the train station all the trains weren't going to spenser street station (only the place I needed to go). So I had to go to the next closest station and walk to the depot for the sky bus to the airport. Anyway, it all go sorted and I had to hang around another airport for 1 hour. The flight was very basic, but I didn't expect anything else really. As I arrived in Sydney airport I caught one of the shuttle buses that would take me to my accomodation. My first choice was closed "4-ever" as it said on the door, so I jusr wandered round to corner and stayed on top of an Irish pub in an area call ed kings cross. I found myself at a bit of a loose end, so I gave James (from my trip to Ayres rock) a shout. He came met me in Kings cross, and so we went on the piss. We had some beers, then hit an Indian (not literally of course), then got more pissed up and ended up in a stripclub laughing at all the women. Got in around 4:30 am, so a pretty succesful first night out in Sydney.

Day 130

Got up quite late with a hangover. Me and James went for food, then we decided to chill and go to the cinema. So it was time to watch Star Wars again, everything else there was shit. It was in fact much bett second time around. I then had an early night, got to go and see the sights tomorrow, I mean, I am in Sydney.

Day 131

Went to the opera house and the harbour bridge. Bloody tourists everywhere, wasn't as impressive as I thought it would be. I also went to the Australian Museum, which was very good indeed, then I got lost, confirmed my airline booking and went on the piss with James again. I kept it fairly tame though, as I was leaving for New Zealand early tomorrow.

Day 132

Got my pick up to the Airport in plenty of time. The flight was ok. When I arrived in New Zealand I was shattered and wanted a quiet night, so I got myself a private room. Made myself some food and chilled out. Couldn get to sleep, another time zone change is really starting to screw me over.

Day 133

Suffered from bad Jet lag. But I did manage to force myself up to sort out going on the "Kiwi Experience" bus trip. Not cheap but it's meant to be good fun with lots of people doing the same things and stuff. So, I'll be jumping on to that tomorrow.I then eventually ventured out to get some food, and there was a tramp giving women random abuse as they walked past, it was quite amusing. Anyway, got an early pick up in the morning, to bed!

Day 134

Jumped on the bus at about 6:30 am, feeling shattered. There weren't that many people on the bus. I did manage to start talking to a couple of lads over here from Northern Ireland. Oh yeah, I was on a bus heading for the "Bay of Island" in the north of New Zealand. We stayed in a hostel there, and as the weather was shit, I decided to do my activity tomorrow morning. That activity is "Swimming with Dolphins". So I had a wander around town, had a nap and generally chilled out. Talked to a guy and girl from Newcastle who were staying in my dorm and went for a BBQ and a couple of beers. Well, the couple of beers turned in to loads while myself and dudes from England, America and Norway started playing drinking games. The guy from Norway wasn't getting much luck and had to run off to be sick. Funny as.

Day 135

Got up bright and early for my trip, little hangover, nothing too bad. Got some breakfast and jumped on the boat to go see the dolphins. The Irish lads yesterday weren't able to swim with them, but they did see some killed whales, so I didn't expect to swim with them. But to my suprise, I was soon jumping in some freezing cold water and swimming with about 10 or so dolphins. It was awesome, I could believe it, another first, and what an experience. They fast bastards as well, tried to keep up with them, good stuff, got some awesome pictures.Once back on land, I just chilled until the bus turned up and took me back to Auckland. Early night, ready for tomorrow.

Day 136

Now then, this is where I really started drinking. Got on the bus, there weren't many people on it and nobody really speaking to eachother. Our driver was called stains (who I've been stuck with since) and we were travelling from Auckland to Whitunga. Along the way we stopped off at cathedral cove and did a nioce little 45 minute walk. Once we checked in to our hostel, some of us went to make a bone carving necklace. Four of us, all men, suprisingly. One guy from England (can't remember his name as he was a bit of a twat), Sam from Australia and Jalmar from Holland. We all had a good laugh while making our necklaces, and Sam Jalmar and myself decided to go for a couple of beers. We were joined by a splendid young couple from England called Richard and Lucy. The guy from Holland brought some dice with him so we started a drinking game called "The Mexican", it was good fun and I got wasted. The dutch guy kopped off with some 38 year old mum, fucking hilarious!!

Day 137

Bad Hangover. It was now time to go to Rotorua. We passed through "Hobbiton" and I went Zorbing. Zorbing is a big inflatable ball you jump in to and then just roll down a hill. It was class, but over a bit to quickly. Once in Rotorua (which was a smelly place, stinking of sulphur) we went and did this tabogan run type thing which was hilarious. Sam and I then went and had a look at the park in the centre of town which had (natural) boiling pools of mub and water. It was mightily impressive. We then went for a few beers and a couple of games of pool. We then went for a Mauri experience thing which was very good. They did a traditional welcome (quite intimidating), some songs and dance and then we were treated to a Mauri feast. It was blinding!

Day 138

Said goodbye to Sam and jumped back on to the bus to go from Rotorua to Waitomo. Some people went caving, myself and Jalmar (now known to all as Stuntcock) decided to chill, play some pool and have a few drinks. Basically we ended up getting lashed, and bothering people until the early hours. I got to stick with this guy for the next couple of weeks as well, he's going to kill me. These Dutch are pretty hardcore!!

Day 139

Today we went from Waitomo to Taupo. Along the way we did a few walks through some volcanic parks and went to see a dam open up. Once in our hostel, it was time to watch the first Lions game, well after playing some "Mexican". Ronan O'Gara had a terrible match. After the game, some of us ventured in to town, it being a Saturday night and all. Oh my god, it was nice to hear some familiar welsh accents. Met a girl who married a local who was now a teacher over here, and a couple of guys from Cardiff (scum bastards!). This dutch bastard has now got me drinking wine in pubs, the women here are quite forward to. Jesus. Anyway, got in around 3:15am, totally wasted.

Day 140

Had a bit of a sleep in, then got woken up by stains knocking at the door. Our activity (for some of us anyway) today was to go fishing. So, it was time to get some beers and go catch some fish in the humungous lake in Taupo. I caught a big bastard trout as well, got a sweet picture. After drinking all day on the boat, I went back to the hostel for an early night.

Day 141

Feeling really bad today. We set off for River Valley (still not totally sure where it is) and instead of doing any kind of "Extreme" activity, myself, stains and stuntcock went for a game of pitch and putt golf. Very nice it was too. Then time for a nap, then the drinking started again. I tell you what, I'm dying!! A bloody card drinking game called kings. Who the hell thinks of these things!! Anyway, we were joined at this lodge by a pile of Americans (who we had got to meet along the way). Wasted, again!!

Day 142

Today we went from River Valley to Wellington. We had a bit of a lte start, but we were woken up early by the bloody Americans. Anyway, we eventually got to Wellington, just chilled, had some food and went to the cinema. We went to see "Downfall", a movie about the last few weeks of Hitler. We took our German friend with us, quality. We were taking the piss out of him, but he was good with it. Then had a couple of drinks and then bed.

Day 143

Went to the Museum here, which was good, but not great. Tried to hard. Got some photo's done and just chilled. Then it was time to go out and watch the Lions match. Well obviously, I ended up getting smashed and woke up on the sofa of the hostel
Day 143
We got feer from Wellington over to the south island. Man, the weather here is freezing. We stayed in a place called Nelson, there wasn't much to do. So, stuntcock and I decided to hit the bar. So we played some pool, had some food, some wine, then I retired to bed.

Day 144

Today we went from Nelson to the Buller Valley. I felt terrible today, nothing to do here. Night off the booze, me thinks. Had a kip in the afternoon and watched a couple of movies in to the night.

Day 145

Today I went quadbiking which was awesome. So now I can quadbike, it's quite dangerous though, I can see how people can get hurt. Anyway, we then went from here to Mahinapua, where we would have to dress in drag for the "fun night". So we watched the game, and I changed in to my lovely outfit (given to me by Lucy) which consisted of a Sarong and a tight top. I finished it off with some boobs made from my pants, some of the guys were jelous of my rack, so they went out and did the same. Man, I make one creepy looking woman (I mean, I make a creepy looking man at the best of times). Good laugh though. Met the first prick so far on my travels, an English guy called Edward (who went to the same boarding school as myself). Turns out this toff bastard had it in for all the Welsh rugby players, saying they are overated. Tosser. Oh yeah, and I fell out my bunk during the night injuring my back.

Day 146

The morning consisted of travelling from Mahinapua to Franz Josef. We did a couple of walks to some falls along the way, they had impressive names, and did not live up to their own hype. We went to one place where some people could do some gold prospecting, but I couldn't be arsed, I wanted to go paintballing, but we couldn't ge the numbers to do it. Gutted. Should have seen the pitiful amounts of gold people got, all while they were getting bitten to shit by sandflies. When we arrived in Franz Josef, lots of people went off to oraganise a glacial walk for the following day. Sod that, myself and my dutch friend decided on a night on the lash followed by an easy day. It was a far cheaper and more sensible option. I mean, if I am going to do a glacial walk, I'd rather do it on the biggest one, which I understand is in Nepal. These activities in New Zealand, amazing as they are, take a lot of money to do. So, as everyone else tottered off to bed at around 8, we got steaming with the bus drivers and had a great laugh.

Day 147

Relaxed all day today, splendid and much needed sleep in. Got up, had a peak on the internet, made a little food and watched some TV. We played some pool and had an early night.

Day 148

Franz Josef to Wanaka was the travel for today. An early morning, went through some mountain ranges, saw some more waterfalls. There wasn't much to do in Wanaka, it was just a little stop off ready for the activities of Queenstown. Today though, I got roped in to doing a bungy jump. I didn't want to do one, but after being one who always bows to peer pressure, I bit at the chants of chicken. So, fuck doing the 40m jump, I'll start with the biggest one at 134m. Had a couple of drinks in the night with some of the people from the bus, actually had a few to many, think I was worried about the bungy.

Day 149

Went from Wanaka to Queenstown by midday, after a quick stop at the world of puzzles (quite funny thing to do with a hangover). I booked my bungy for $250 (100 quid) including DVD and T-shirt, so there was no backing out now. We then stood looking down a valley watching the small bungy with people jumping off bridge (40m). Some people were absolutely shitting themselves, and I don't blame them. It didn't look that high, but you realise how high it is when you get on to the ledge. Anyway, after a few heart racing jumps, we were all done and it was on in to Queenstown via a stop off at the "Best Pie shop in New Zealand". It was very nice to, a quality spicy chicken pie. We checked in to our accomodation, and went for a hair cut. Crap hair cut, the bloke didn't have a clue, and all for a tenner, bastard. Got back to our digs, got changed and went to the boozer to watch the game. Good match, we then switched bars and went to somewhere which does teapots full of booze, very good.

Day 150

Woke up with a terrible hangover, not ideal preperation for my bungy, scheduled for some time in the afternoon. So, dehydrating, I went for the bungy. My palms were sweating like mad, I couldn't believe what I had gotten myself in to. I kept on thinking "You idiot, and you paid for it". Anyway, we got to the top of this huge valley, an took this little cable car across this vast expanse to a platform placed in the centre of the valley. Fuck me, this cable car just shaking was bad enough, let alone having to jump off the platform at some point in the near future. Anyway, my dutch buddy went first as he was the heaviest at 94kg (I was a meagre 74kg) and off he jumped right away. I was getting more worried by the second, he just kept falling and falling. Another 7-8 guys went before me, and then my time came. Oh christ, I sat in this titlted back dentist chair type thing while they attached the bungy, they asked me to say something to the camera, I was to worried to say anything (wait till you see the DVD), so I just did the ROCK hand gesture across my chest. Then it was my turn to go on to the ledge, at which point the dutch bastard was taking the piss. You had to waddle on to the jumping platform, making it impossible to not look down, here we go!! 3-2-1 go, my legs didn't want to go, they seized, a second countdown, and I swandived down in to the valley. The scariest thing about the whole thing was the moment when you realise that you are falling, after that you get a little euphoria, you body just seems to accept this crazy thing you're doing. A couple of bounces, pull the rip chord and abck up to the top, relieved. Give everyone else encouregement as they went to do theirs. It was a great feeling. Back to the bungy centre we went to have a look at our DVDs and pick our t-shirt. It is awesome!! After all this traumer, I booked myself in to do some skiing tomorrow and then proceeded to the bar for some much needed adreniline sedation.

Day 151

Went skiing, it was good, but they only had a few slopes open due to it being so early in the season. There was a tricky slope, a fast slope and the beginner slope. After four hours of doing the slopes that were worth doing, my legs were like jelly and it was time to go back to the digs for a shower and some rest. A quiet one was needed tonight, so I went to the cinema to watch "Batman Begins", which is the best comic book film ever. If you don't agree, then you can shove it!!

Day 152

An early start today, we set off for Christchurch. There wasn't really much to do here, so we stayed for only the one night. We got in to our accomodation, chilled, watched the game, had a few drinks and had a curry. Very nice.

Day 153

Another early start, travel to Kaikoura was the order of the day. We stopped off to see some seals lazing in the sun, and man do these gigantic bastards stink. There was nothing much else to do here apart from Whale watching (which I plan to do in Tonga or Samoa, for much cheaper), so down the pub we went, did some washing, then back down the pub.

Day 154

We went back to Welington today. We showed a couple from our bus (Andy and Sarah) our bungy DVD's and I agreed to do the Auckland bungy with her as her hubby didn't like the bungy experience (On their dvd he asks the bungy safety guys "Am I going to die?"). We then had some scran and went on the town with some girls from the bus. They wanted to go to a strip bar, so off we went. It was a crap strip bar, but aren't they all. One guy who was on the stage having a private dance, was enjoying himself a little too much by the look of his trousers. How we laughed.

Day 155

Another day, another bit of travelling, this time back to Taupo. We just chilled out, watched the lions match. I had a chat with a bouncer who's Dale Mackintosh's (the chief) cousin, and he told me he was in town tomorrow. Gutted, I was leaving tomorrow. By about 11, I had had enough and called it a night.

Day 156

From Taupo, it was now back to Auckland. Myself and my dutch friend together got a little gift for our kindly bus driver, whom with which we had had a bloody good time. We got him the gayest card we could find, a black and white photograph of a guy holding a wooden pole with the caption "everything I touch reminds me of you". It took us ages to find, but it was worth the wait. It got a good laugh in the pub that night when we gave it to him in front of his colleagues.

Day 157

Got up late, had a spot of lunch and went to the cinema to watch "Mr and Mrs Smith". Found out that an old work colleague died recently of DVT, made me think about various things especially about the long haul flights that I have in the next 5 weeks. Anyway, enough about that, just chilled in the night.

Day 158

Got up, did the Auckland bridge bungy. Quite good fun, tried to get in to the water, but didn't quite jump right. Watched the game in our room, wasn't really in the mood to stay out and went home fairlt early.

Day 159 - Day 164

Did nothing much. Just waiting for my flight to Tonga, which I have brought forward. Don't know what to expect from this island in the pacific, got my lonely planet, but no real clue what I want to do. Maybe de-tox for de-tox.

So It's off to Tonga I shall go!!

The Wizard of Oz

Hello,

It’s about time for another update. I know it has been a while (again), but a lot has been happening. It’s a hard life I tell you, going from the humid yet sunny climate of Cairns, over to the arid and hot (apparently it's cold for the area) of Alice Springs and Ayres rock, down to Melbourne where the weather is much like the end of Spring back in the UK.

Enough of that,

Here we go.

Day 105

I booked my diving with the Cairns Dive Centre. The cost was about 110 pounds for a 4-day budget course. But, because it was the low season, I had a free upgrade to include one night accommodation on the barrier reef in their boat. Marvelous. Only one problem though, I wanted to start it tomorrow, but it was a bank holiday, so I’d have to wait until Tuesday to do it. After this, I basically wasted the rest of my day and arranged to meet Jamie up tomorrow.

Day 106

It was a bank holiday today, but most places were still open. I wandered down to town to meet Jamie up (after booking my plane ticket to Ayres Rock) by the lagoon where she had been nursing a hangover and doing a spot of sunbathing. We went for a drink and a pub lunch and had a little stroll around. After which, I made my way back to get some rest for the start of the course tomorrow

Day 107

The start of the course was good. We all went to the shop and paid, then went in to the classroom to start our theory, while watching a DVD that gave us no answers to the exercises we were doing. After doing out bit of studying, it was time for the doctors check. The guy who I was sitting next to was from Bristol whose name was Ben, and he accompanied me to the doctors room. We did a breath test, balance check (he started laughing at me during this, as I almost fell over), then a heart and blood pressure check. I passed with flying colors (I know, I’m surprised too) and went back in to finish my lunch. Once everyone had had their checks and lunch, it was time to go in to the swimming pool to do our general swimming test. 200 meters around the pool followed 15 minutes of treading water. During the treading water, we all got acquainted with each other. There were a few brits, but quite a lot of Germans and a couple of yanks. We then did some diving using our snorkels and practiced how to dive using our fins properly. Now it was time to get to know how to use our gear. Buddy checks, air tests, etc. Then we got to try it out, getting used to the breathing techniques. It was all good. We finished all this by about 4:30, and I was tired, and there was to be an early pick-up in the morning at 7:30am. Shocking. This stopped me from meeting up Jamie for a couple of jars that night, as you dehydrate very quickly using the air from the tanks I can tell you!! So, it was an early night for me.

Day 108

7:30 pick up, felt like death, don’t know what I’m going to be like when I get back home. It was a cool morning and we went to the classroom first to do some more theory. Once all done, we went in to the pool at around 9am. We started doing our skills of clearing our masks, retrieving our breathing apparatus (or 2nd stage), emergency ascents and other various bits and bobs. All our training in the swimming pool was now complete. We then went back in to the classroom to finish off our theory ready for our test (which we needed 80% to pass) early the following morning. Once back, it was a relaxing evening, a little study, and got everything ready for the following day as I would be spending tomorrow night on the boat.

Day 109

Another 7:30 pick up. Did our tests, I got 94% by the way, it was easy though, multiple choice and stuff. After that we got taken down to the port and boarded a boat to be taken to the yacht that we would be staying on while completing our open water training. It took a good 1¾ hours to get there, so it was a prime opportunity to get some sleep. We got to the boat, dropped our bags off, got a briefing as to what we would be doing, then had some lunch. After lunch we got kitted out in all the stuff we needed. Then it was time for our first dive. The first dive would be a fun dive with just basic techniques being used. It was quite surprising how quickly you use the air up. Anyway, we saw some of the wildlife, which was very exciting. After a sit for a few hours on the boat (it had moved to another location) it was time for our 2nd dive. I fucked this one up. It was all going fine, and then I had to do my second technique of retrieving my breathing device. I got it, breathed a shit load of sea water in to my mouth before getting it in my mouth, swallowed it, panicked, tried breathing through my nose, my mask filled up and I shit if for the surface. Lucky for me we weren’t that deep (7 1/2 meters), I breathed out while going to the surface (I could have had air bubbles go in to my blood stream if I had air in my lungs due to expansion of air as you go up) and I wasn’t in any shock, I just coughed up a little water. The instructor came up after me, checked that I was ok, and I made my way back to the boat, feeling very disappointed by myself, and feeling that I had let the group down a little. I had a shower when back on board, and everyone was very supportive, and the instructor checked that I was ok to go back down the next day. I said “Yeah I’m fine. I paid for this, I’ll be fucked if I’m not going to get it”, he laughed. The group and myself chilled for the rest of the night, and it was early to bed as we were to have our next dive early the following day.

Day 110

Our first dive was at 6am, and it was a fun dive. So we went through some covered reef, saw some turtles, sharks and stuff. It was good to get my confidence back in the water before the next dive, as I knew I’d have to do what I didn’t do yesterday again. After the first dive, we had some breakfast, which I threw up. It was baked beans, nasty baked beans. We had now moved to another location and it was time for our 2nd dive. I was a little apprehensive, and was last in the group to do the skills, but I completed then successfully and the instructor told me later on that lots of people wouldn’t go in after what happened the following day. I felt good now, maybe a little bit proud. The third dive of the day (all before lunch) was our own fun dive. Me and my buddy and another couple of people decided to go somewhere to try and attract some sharks. We didn’t accomplish this, but we saw 3 turtles, giant clams, fresh parts of reef, some underwater gorges and much much more that I can’t remember right now. I went down to a depth of nearly 20 meters, doesn’t sound far, but it is. It was great fun. We then had lunch on the boat, and chilled until the boat came to pick us up to take us back to land. There were some storms on the way back, the weather totally different to that on the reef. What an experience. Once back at my place, I chilled, packed everything ready to leave in the morning.

Day 111

Checked out, and made my way to the airport to get my flight to Alice Springs. Just waited around in the airport as there was a short delay, but eventually boarded. The flight went smoothly (not like the one that crashed just north of Cairns that day), and we touched down in Alice on schedule. A rep from the hostel I had arranged to stay in met me up, we waited for everyone to get their stuff, then we headed to the hostel. While in the hostel I arranged to go on the 3 day, 2 night tour of Ayres rock for about 100 quid. This seemed like the best thing to do and there wasn’t much room left, so the reason to come here was now sorted. Still feeling tired, I then had an early night.

Day 112

Had a late morning. I went and bought a water bottle for the trip and the hostel arranged my train to Melbourne for the day after getting back from the trip. Everything was going to plan.

Day 113

A 6:30 pick up from the hostel, now time to check out who all these new people were. Our guide was a South African who had been doing this job for 2 years who seemed to love his job. A younger tour guide who was learning about the tour accompanied him. The group was mainly made up of Irish (both republic and northern) and English, with one German and one Japanese. I was the only Welsh person on the tour. First stop on the tour was the camel ranch where we would have a ride on a……….guess what……….camel!! Tell you what, camel shit stinks, and riding them really hurts if you’re male (if you know what I mean). Anyway, today, there was a lot of driving. So it was a good opportunity to get to know some of the folks, and a thoroughly nice bunch of people they were to. Our next stop was Kings Canyon, which had a nice hike involved. It was a little bit of a tiring walk, but very good for the chest all the same. Got some stunning views and our guide gave us some interesting insights. He seemed to like talking quite a lot of bullshit to see if people bit, he told us that he would do this on the bus; so all of us were slightly skeptical as to what was true and stuff. Anyway, after this it was time to try some “bush tucker”. I wasn’t going to try any, but this English dude Jim did. It looked gross, but apparently tasted like almonds, I wasn’t about to find out either!! Next stop was the off license (or bottle shop as they call them over here) to pick up some booze. A few crates of Toohey’s new and we were off to the campsite. We were asked to go get some firewood to make a fire, and we all did so. It was fun, and we saw a stunning sunset while doing so. Then the guides prepared the dinner, some camel chili con carne. Very nice it was to; lucky I could look at it while eating. Some people did the washing up while some of us started drinking, telling crappy jokes, stories and discussing various important issues for example: “Is that Vincent Gallo a genius or a arrogant prick?”, everyone went for the latter. Anyway, all of the ladies went to bed early, so the boys stayed up a little longer to tell some jokes. Slightly drunk I went in to my “Swag” for the night. After a few hours kip, some of the Irish girls started punching me, telling me to stop snoring, I couldn’t and they moved away. Awesome.

Day 114

Got woken up by the guide at 5:30 for breakfast. Jim went off with the spade and toilet paper to take a dump, which was quite funny. The Irish girls who were kept up by my snoring weren’t in such a jovial mood though. Bloody women. Then I helped put the sleeping bags and swags back on to the trailer (anything to prevent myself from preparing food or doing washing up) as we set off to our next destination, the Olga’s. This was quite majestic, I took some awesome photos and we had a good walk around them. We then set off to see the cultural visitors center followed by sunset at Ayres rock. It was glorious. The area of Ayres rock hadn’t had rain in over a year, and of course, it rained at for us. Beer in hand, I managed to get a picture of a rainbow going across the top of the rock, shame I couldn’t get the double rainbow. Anyway, as we made our way back, food was ready. Time for another beer, ate some pasta chicken thing, and then watched as a streeker ran after one of the busses in the car park. It was a little bit odd. Anyway, we then motored towards our camping grounds. Another group from the same company were staying near by. Again, we had to go out and get some fire wood. Then, came some tribal warfare. It was us against the other group, trying to steal stuff off each other or trying to put out each others fire. Great fun. I ankle tapped the leader of the other group while our guide was on his back, hilarious. Anyway, that eventually dies down after we thieved their fuel. Good stuff. One of the guys, called James, and I stayed up till really late drinking. Some of the ladies had obviously had some drinks as they were now the ones snoring. Anyway, we bugged the shit out of them by talking all the time, loudly. Ha ha.

Day 115

Another early start (about 5am) and we set off to see sunrise at the rock. It was beautiful. Had breakfast there and then set off to do a walk around the base. After the base walk it was time for the long drive back. Lots of people caught up on sleep, I couldn’t, so Jim, myself and some other people played some games to while away the time. Eventually we got back, everyone scuttled off to their rooms for a well-deserved shower and change of clothes. We arranged to meet for dinner as a group. So a shower, little rest, check on e-mail and then it was time to venture to the bar for food and drinks. The food was good and everyone was having a good time. Then the issue as to what we were going to do later came up. Everyone decided to go to this boozer in Alice Springs call “Bo jangles” or something. I tried to get out of it, but they twisted my arm, you know, I had to be asked twice. Off we went. A good night out was had by all. I managed to hurt my arms while trying to give some of the girls piggybacks on the way home, it was quite funny. As were many of the “Bogans” or “Bevans” that were in the boozer. Quality. When we got back to the hostel, in the early hours, we hung around the kitchen area. We were making a little noise and this French woman came out complaining. Jim said some bollocks in French to her and she went away. She came back again about 30 mins later, and I think she then started phoning reception to make complaints. Isn’t it unlike the French to be a whining bunch of bastards. Anyway, I managed to make it back to my room by 5:30 am, now totally shattered.

Day 116

Got up bright and early, as I had to be checked out by 10am. Hung around the hostel till our pick up was ready to go to the train station. Said my goodbyes to people from the group. Got on the train and found I was sitting next to three jolly nice people from Leicester (2 girls and 1 guy) who were at Ayres Rock with me. Bloody marvelous. I sat next to one of the girls and we chatted for the journey and just generally relaxed. She had managed to pick up bed bugs from somewhere, which looked quite nasty. Anyway, this was a long journey, and I could hardly get any sleep on the thing.

Day 117

We arrived in Adelaide on schedule. I said goodbye to the kindly people from Leicester, as this was where they were getting off. I went to the platform to get my connecting train to Melbourne. This was the last leg or the train journey. This was a far easier journey, I relaxed well, even managed to get some sleep. As I was waiting for the train though, this guy came up to me and started talking to me about how much money he had made from drugs, and how to make certain types of hash. How do I attract these people I asked, as I humored him. Anyway, Amy was meeting me at the station at 9pm, so it’d be nice to see a familiar face in a new city. We arrived on schedule and I picked up my bag and met up Amy. She had parked quite a way from the station, so we had a little chat on the way to her car. Once we got back to her house (which she shares with 3 other people), we had a few glasses of wine and watched a film. A very funny film called “Van Wilder”, well I thought it was funny anyway. After that, it was time for bed.

Day 118

Up slightly late, so we went for breakfast and discussed what to do over the weekend. We decided to go along the “Great Ocean Road”, then stay the night and make our way back the following day. So that’s exactly what we did. It was a gorgeous drive, with some spectacular pieces of coastline. We finished our days travel at the 12 apostles rock formations. The light wasn’t that great, so I’ll probably just copy a picture off the web somewhere. Anyway, we then made our way to a little motel and stayed the night. It was very relaxing.

Day 119

Went to the gorge site, then made our way back going a different route. The weather wasn’t that good, so there was no point in going back along the ocean road. After getting back, we went shopping for groceries and Amy cooked some mushroom sauce with chicken and rice. It was very nice and time for an early night.

Day 120

I went in to the city, had a walk around. This Melbourne weather is pretty cold at the moment. I went to the Australian Film Centre and looked at some of the exhibits. Then, I had to get a top because I was cold, so I bought a little jogging top. After that I went to the Museum of Immigration, which was very interesting. It was nice to see an unbiased view for a national museum. In the evening, Amy escorted me around St Kilda and riverfront.

Day 121

Today was a waste, but it needed to be done. I caught up on my laundry and e-mails. In the afternoon I went shopping for the ingredients to make Amy a slap up dinner. I spent the evening prepping the meal, and then cooked it, and it was splendid.

Day 122

I went to the botanic gardens, which were very nice indeed. I then made my way back as I needed to let Amy’s sister in when she arrived. Amy and her sister were off to see Tori Amos in concert so I had arranged to meet James (dude from Ayres Rock) up for a few bevies. Well, we got a little smashed on wife beater, which was nice. Then Amy and her Sis turned up for a few and then we headed home.

Day 123

I went to the National Gallery that has only recently been re-opened. I saw a beautiful gallery of Japanese art, as well as the resident gallery, which included some Francis Bacon and David Hopkin. There were some pretentious multi-media galleries there as well which I laughed at. Is it me who’s pretentious or the art, I don’t know. Anyway, had a walk around the area for a bit and then made my way across town to meet Amy and some of her former work mates for a tipple. After meeting them (2 ladies and a rather “friendly” Englishman), we went to where we’d go and watch the new Star Wars film. Amy went and bought her mum a gift then we made our way to the cinema. We hadn’t eaten, so we got a Chinese and carried it in to the cinema. We totally stunk the place out, but no-one told us off, which was good. The film was awesome, but I did start laughing hysterically at one point. I think people think I was crying because I was upset, but no, it was from Darth Vader going “Noooooooooooooo”, when finding out that his wife had copped it. Anyway, very entertaining stuff.

Day 124

I got up late, real late. Just went for a walk and got some food. Amy and I went to an Aussie Rules match at the Telstra Dome. The match was between Adelaide and St. Kilda. It was an interesting game, and I tell you what, these boys can kick a ball very far!! St. Kilda got a total wasting, they didn’t even score in the last quarter.

Day 125

Today, after Amy had been to work, we were going to visit her parents in the country as it was her mums birthday. So, not to be rude, I ventured in to town in the morning and bought her a gift. While in town I got myself booked on a flight to Sydney for the coming Wednesday. All sorted. Amy came back and we started the 2 hour odd journey to her parents place near Yarram. Once we were there, Amy made all of us a Thai curry that was delicious. We stayed up and watched some TV, but everyone went to bed while I stayed up to watch the FA cup Final. Man Utd were robbed, but everyone knows that.

Day 126

Amy took me for a drive to the national park near by and I saw some water falls, and we did a scenic walk. After lunch we drove by her old high school, a place called Port Albert (not Port Talbot, as I thought she said), then we called in on her sister. We had a cuppa there and just chilled. Then we picked up our stuff and made our way back to the big smoke. Once back, we got a take out and rented out “Team America: World Police”. All was well, and it was time for sleep.


So that takes me up to today, where I have wasted about 3 hours typing this shit up. Hope you appreciate it. More coming soon. Next stop Sydney, then on to New Zealand for Skiing (in June, isn’t that class) and the British Lions!!

Morgan Dundee

Hello there,

Having a good time in Australia. Nothing that much in these reports as all I seem to do is travel, have a look around the place. Go swim in the sea, and maybe have a night out. But there have been some good bits in between!!

Here we go:


Day 86

I checked out of my hotel room early to get to the Airport in plenty of time, because you can never be to sure about the traffic in Bangkok!! Got to the Airport, hung around, and bought a KFC with my last bit of Thai Baht.

Eventually I got on to the plane. I had a two legged flight to Sydney, Bangkok to Singapore then Singapore to Sydney. One the plane to Singapore I only had a chance to watch one of the shorter films, so I watched "Birth". Interesting film, a bit like a Stanley Kubrick film.

Anyway, got off in Singapore and read my Australian Lonely planet while waiting for 2 hours to get the connecting flight. Just hoping that my bag will make it on to this flight. Anyway, on my Flight to Sydney, there were a bunch of big bastard rugby players speaking some kind of Gibberish language. Not sure of their nationality, they had orange shirts on though. Anyway. The flight went well. Had a splendid meal for an airline flight, lamb in a rosemary jus with minted couscous. Washed that down with some red wine (I got asked for ID, for gods sake I'm 25 now!!) and settled to watch a few movies and hopefully get some sleep. There was an English family sitting behind me, whose children couldn't sit still, be silent or stop being sick. Bloody annoying south-east accents on them to, probably from Essex!! Anyway, I couldn't get to sleep the whole flight for some reason; I'm normally pretty good with things like that. But never mind. We landed safely in Sydney at 5:30 am

Day 87

Once in Sydney airport I had to get through all the passport rubbish. I was a little worried about how it would work considering I got the travel agency to sort out my visa. I hoped they had, and as it turns out, they had and I went through without any hassle!! My bag took ages to come through, they had sniffer dogs come through loads!! Then I had to declare the food in my bag to Quarantine. I went in, I got asked what I had in the bag, and I said "Just a jar of Marmite". The guy laughed and told me to go straight through. I went outside and got a bus to the central train station as I planned to go straight to Newcastle. I am going to do Sydney on my way back!! Anyway, got the train, feeling very tired, I planned to have some sleep. Then a young mother comes and sits near me with her child who continually drops his toys on to me while I was trying to sleep. Being a nice guy, I didn't blow my top. Got to Newcastle after about three hours. Now around 1pm. Still had no sleep. I went and got a hostel, which was quite nice. I shared the Dorm with two English guys who were very pleasant. I dumped my bag and planned on having a nap. I still couldn't sleep!! Got up, had a shower and me and the English Guys went down to the shop and got some beer. We then drank some on the balcony before heading downstairs for all you can eat pizza. We then went in to town as it was "Student night". We saw some local girls doing their thing on a catwalk for Aussie FHM, it was quite funny. Got in at 4:30am, had a bit of sleep, but I had to get up by 8:30am the next day to go wine tasting!!

Day 88

Woke up feeling fine, glad I didn't drink much the night before. Went downstairs to get picked up to go wine tasting in the Hunter Valley. I booked this the previous day, thinking it would be a good idea as I'm not much of a beach person!! I have to say, I had a wonderful time. We went (there was only 2 of us on the minibus) to some small vineyards which had 5 or six wines to try and some bigger ones which had 40 or more. I could have been there for a week trying out all the various wines. It was class. Some Merlot, Pinot Noir, Semillon, Chardonnay, Port, Desert wines, Schnapps, you name it, I drank it. We left there and got on the bus to go back to the hostel. Me and the other bloke from the bus (David, late 30's) were both leaving tomorrow, so we decided to go together. We got on well, so what the hell. We had a few beers in the night, but David's a bit of a lightweight, so it was an early night!!

Day 89

We had a while till the Bus arrives in the afternoon, so I had a walk around the town. Had people commenting (some nice, some nasty) about a t-shirt I bought in Thailand which is a little offensive!! Anyway, got the bus to Port Macquarie just up the coast. We got there in the night, dropped our bags off and went to have a look for a boozer. We went in totally the wrong direction, and it pissed down. We got soaked through, good fun though!! We were sharing a dorm with this crazy Aussie who kept on coughing and spluttering throughout the night.

Day 90

Had my first proper shower in days, typical. Went to the beach, caught a few waves, cut my legs on the rocks. Had a good laugh. There was this woman on the beach who was stunning, huge pair of boobs on her, which were a talking point for me and David, as to whether they were false or not!! Anyway, enough about that. We had a walk around, then went back to the hostel and booked a bus and accommodation for tomorrow in Coffs Harbour. We then went in to town to see what the night life was like. I feel sorry for some of the people in these towns, no wonder they’ll travel a couple of 100 k's to go for a good night out!! The nightclub reminded me of Barons in Swansea, a mix of old and young skanks and men with pube beards or balding heads!!. Again, we had a good laugh and I made it in at 4:30am!!

Day 91

Woke up with a stinking hangover. Check out is at 9:30 or 10am in most of these hostels. Gutted. My stomach was starting to feel dodgy, not used to this new cuisine after south East Asia. Wasted time until the bus came. The bus stopped just outside our destination and I stupidly started a chat with a guy on the bus. He started giving me his life story, the poor bastard. It appeared that he and his girlfriend had run away because she was pregnant, and she had a miscarriage. They had been mugged, had their car stolen, can't get casual employment, it was all a little heavy for me at that point in time. Said my bit, then back to the bus!! At our destination, we got picked up, shown around, had dinner then had a much needed early night.

Day 92

David and I relaxed in the morning planning what we were going to do next. In the afternoon we went canoeing in the creek just across the road from the hostel. Saw some of the wildlife, just birds, no crocs. WE then decided to join pretty much the rest of the hostel for the pub quiz at a boozer down the road. It did 15oz steak with beer for about 4 quid. Bargain!! Made myself popular in the pub quiz by giving some wrong answers, woo hoo. Changed teams and started helping these two pretty Canadian girls (one whose mother was from Swansea). Helped them quite a bit, they were very thankful of my wealth of pointless knowledge!! Anyway, after all that, we all walked back in a jovial mood!!

Day 93

Went to see some gorgeous beaches in the morning then it was time to leave Coffs Harbour and head for Byron Bay. The only hostel we seemed to be able to get was the Arts Factory. We got picked up and taken there. This was no normal hostel. It had this whole hippy vibe. You had hippy tents to stay in, dorm rooms, it had its own cinema, restaurant and Buddha Bar. It was a cool hostel. They had a talent contest when we were there. Let me tell you, there wasn't much talent on show, one both ways!!

Day 94

This was a waste day. There were storms throughout the day. David and I met up around 3'ish. He had started calling me LB (lucky bastard) a couple of days ago and this confirmed it. I missed all the showers and was under cover for them all. He got pissed on throughout the day whenever he ventured out. Ha ha!! Anyway, to wash away the misery of the weather, we went to the Buddha bar, had a few jars then headed in to town. We then made our way back to the hostel and I stayed up till the early hours talking to a young German girl. I think I may have mentioned the war!! Shocking, I apologised, she thought it was funny!!

Day 95

Woke up with a little hangover, went and met David up at a place to watch the Chelsea Arsenal game. We then got the bus to Brisbane in the afternoon. We decided to stay in the Lonely Planets "Editors Choice" in single rooms (we were getting down on the account of the weirdo's that we kept being in a room with). I tell you what, what a crap hotel. All the stuff lonely planet said was wrong. Anyway, it was time for food. David had Pizza Hut delivered and I had organised for a curry. Mine didn't come at all and I ended up having a microwaved chicken burger. Gutted.

Day 96

Again the weather was out to stop us from doing anything. Had breakfast and looked in to what to do next. In the evening we went to the city centre for dinner and David took me to a Casino for the first time in my life!! I didn't bet anything, but it took him about 3 minutes to lose his $50. We left there and we went somewhere to watch the rugby league on TV that was being played in Brisbane (we tried to get tickets). Australia strolled to victory!! Had a taxi back to the hotel with a kid from Nigeria, who was having his first night on the job. Shocking, he didn’t have a clue!! Nice kid though, I helped as David bitched. Typical bloody English eh!

Day 97

This is where David and I went separate ways. I got my bus to Hervey Bay. The bus was 1 hour late, then broke down along the way. I had organised a B&B highly recommended to stay in Hervey bay. The owners came to pick me up, they were an old retired couple. They were excellent, and the place was very nice. I basically had run of the mill there, they booked me on to a 1 day tour of Fraser Island for the following day as well. Excellent. Watched a bit of TV and then went to bed!!

Day 98

Early start, had a healthy breakfast. Had made a decision that maybe the gut wasn't feeling to good because of the shit I was eating. So it was Fruit with yoghurt and some granary bread toast, with black coffee and orange juice. The lady from the B&B kept on asking if I wanted some bacon and eggs, to which I said no thanks. She was very eager!! Anyway, got picked up at 8am for the tour of Fraser Island. The Tour consisted of a short walk in the rainforest, the beaches, a lake 150m above sea level, boat wreck, buffet lunch, seeing the different colour sands and some other stuff. It was quite an intensive day. I was shattered at the start and at the finish. On the trip though, I met a young doctor (female) called Jamie from Wales. We got talking and she asked me if I wanted a lift the following day towards Airlie Beach. Why not. There we go!!

Day 99

After another Hearty and Healthy breakfast I was picked up by Jamie and her friend Chris. I promptly let them do all the driving while I slept or passed general comment in the back. It was Anzac day, so when we stopped in Rockhampton for lunch, most places were shut!! We eventually got to Airlie Beach, which is where we were going to hit the Whitsunday’s. We stayed at Magnums Youth Hostel. It was a little full on and seemed to cover half the area with its own nightclub, bar, pizzeria etc.. Anyway, we dropped out bags off and went out for food. I got ID'd for about the 14th time by a gentlemen who said I'll age well. Jamie was gutted as she didn't get ID'd, it's strange, is it a complement or an insult. We stayed out for a few drinks before hitting Magnums nightclub where they had a foam party (they had jelly wrestling on the day I left). I managed to get a cut on my arm somehow, but we all had a good laugh.

Day 100

Chris went off in a huff from Jamie for some reason so she spent most of her day with me. We kind of just relaxed talked and had a walk around. We booked up a tour of the Whitsunday’s the following day and had an early night.

Day 101

Early start, weather wasn't looking too good. The trip was superb, we missed all the bad weather and I managed to get a very red face. First stop was one of the most gorgeous beaches (probably the best on this trip so far) I've ever been to. Stunning pure white sands, crystal clear water. After a few hours there we went back to the boat for a spot of lunch (I'm starting to eat salad, only if I must) and then headed off to go where we would do some snorkelling. It took a while to get there, but man it was worth it!! It was stunning, I couldn't sleep that night, when I closed my eyes all I saw was tropical fish and coral. The fish were gorgeous, and I wish I had a camera with me for this bit, I swam alongside a couple of Turtles. It was AWESOME. Definitely given me the taste to do a diving course up in Cairns. One thing I have to say though, it was stinger (jellyfish) season, so we had to wear "Stinger suits". It was quite funny, I looked like a super hero who had fallen on bad times!! Anyway, there was this German girl on the boat what had obviously been taking the Paris Hilton fashion thing a little too far. Her boyfriend with the mullet seemed happy enough.

Day 102

Got my Bus to Cairns, a long bus ride. Bus arrives at 10 to one in the morning. Couldn't sleep on the bus. Had to make way to hostel. Got in and I still couldn't sleep, but eventually nodded off.

Day 103

Went to my apartment that I have rented for the next week while I do my diving course. It's more expensive than a hostel, but I'll save money by eating in. So after arriving there, I went to the shops and stocked myself up for the next few days. After that, it was time to chill with a nice bottle of Aussie wine.

Day 104

Today. Going to book my diving course, this is after all, the only reason why I came up here!!

Thai me up, Thai me down

Hello, Well after all this time here comes the biggest update I have done yet. I think it's something like 40 days or so. Most of which I will break down to just the interesting parts. Here we go.

Day 45 - Day 48

Basically I just wasted my time on Ko Samui. I just read books, had some nice food and chilled. A nice relaxing time. On one of the days was a tropical storm that basically took out all the electricity in the area. That was quite interesting; the whole place had about 2 inches of rainwater on the ground.

Day 49

I checked out of my resort and made my way to the airport to get my flight to Bangkok. It was the most bizarre airport I've ever seen. Three huts; one for arrivals, one for departures and one for check in. It was quite effective and surprisingly well run, however my plane did get delayed by about 25 minutes. The flight went ok and I made my way to the hotel. Once in the hotel I went for a swim and then went for some food in the "cabbages and condoms" restaurant. It's a restaurant that promotes sex education and also gives money to local aids organizations. So, if that isn't a good reason to eat there, then I don't know what is.

Day 50

After breakfast I made my way to the grand palace and golden mount via the Bangkok sky train and a Tom-tom. The golden mount was pretty much what it sounds like. It was a golden stupor atop a mount. The grand palace was actually a quite tackily decorated affair. Lots of shiny gold’s, greens, blues etc. One highlight of the grand palace for me was that I saw a shotgun that had four barrels that was really bizarre. After touring the palace, I made my way down to the river to get a little boat trip (about an hour) around the canals of Bangkok. I saw extremes in wealth along the ride. Brand-new houses, with plush gardens, pool etc; and on the other side a houses that looked like the were going to collapse at any moment. The people all seemed quite happy though, waving and calling out. It made for an interesting trip with little boats along the route with people trying to sell you souvenirs and cold drinks.

Day 51

Today was time for me to organize what I was going to be doing over the next few days. I got myself on 2 tours that would take up tomorrow and the day after that were ideal. I needed to get some washing done, did that, and went for a swim. Had an early night, I had to be up by 5:30am ready for the pick-up for the first tour.

Day 52 - My Birthday

Got the alarm call at 5:30 am, felt shattered. Usually on my birthday, it would be a lye-in followed by some heavy drinking all day. This time, however, it was time to do something constructive. The first tour was to the river Kwai and a trip along the Death Valley railway. First stop on the tour was the Death Valley railway museum. This was a somber affair, with pictures, newspaper articles, and paintings of how the Japanese treated the prisoners during the creation of the railway. It was horrific, but a real tale about human spirit. After that, we went to the memorial park where lots of the men were buried. It was shocking to see the ages of all these men, it probably averaged at around 24 (my age, or the age I was yesterday). Many were younger and only a few considerably older (oldest was 44 that I could find). I couldn't believe how tourists quite openly take photographs of this stuff, I find it kind of creepy. Anyway, then it was on to the bridge over the river Kwai. We could walk across it, take a few pictures and walk back in time to catch the train to the Death Valley Bridge. Once on the train we had some spectacular views of the area, and the Death Valley bridge was spectacular and well worth the visit. There was a late lunch that was all you can eat, so I stuffed my face and fell asleep on the 4-hour trip back to Bangkok. Early night, another early start tomorrow.

Day 53

Today's tour was to take in 2 supposed highlights of Bangkok’s surrounding area, the Rose Garden and the floating market. To tell you the truth, neither of these, I would say, warrant a visit. The floating market, is not a fully functioning market anymore, and is just there for tourists. The rose garden was ok, but not really worth the cash. I did get to ride an elephant there so, not all bad. We did however go to a traditional Thai handicrafts center that had some very elaborate woodcarvings.

Day 54

Today, I decided to have a good long sleep. By the time I woke up, it was past midday. I went for a swim and relaxed on the terrace around the pool for a few hours. Then I got fed and made my way to Pat-Pong night market. What a sordid place, people coming up to you showing you what these women in the clubs will do with ping pong balls, razor blades, darts etc.. That was not for me, so to radio city where I had a good laugh watching the Elvis, Tom Jones and Bee-Gees impersonators. I met the band when I went to the toilet and had a little chat with them. It was quite a funny conversation: "How's it feeling out there man?" asked the 50-odd year old bassist mopping his brow, to which I replied "Alright".

Day 55

Chilled most of the morning due to the late night. Did manage to do something constructive in the afternoon. I went to Jim Thompson’s house, which was gorgeous. Jim Thompson was the guy who introduced to designers in the west hand-woven Thai silk, the kind of which gained popularity due to the film "the King and I". I kid you not, this was one delicious house. Only needed two things, a fridge for beer and chuck the big Buddha out and replace it with a plasma TV, that would be sweet!! After that, I had some food in a place called the pizza company. The waitresses there looked like hookers. They were wearing knee high, red stiletto boots. Dear me. After that, it was time to watch some kick ass Thai boxing. It was pretty quiet by all accounts at the arena. I read that the best fights normally take place on Tuesdays and Thursdays; and today was Saturday. Never mind, I had a splendid time. The main fight lasted about one and a half minutes. He gave this poor bastard a hiding. They also did a demo of what the original Thai boxing was like, this was awesome. Double fisted punch to the throat, spin kick off the ropes. Quality!!

Day 56

Today was a lazy day, had a look around some shops and went to the weekend market.

Day 57

Today I went to the Laos embassy in Bangkok to sort out my visa. As it turned out I didn't need to get one in advance, but never mind. This took up most of the day. In the evening I sent back some Thai-boxing gloves I bought for my nephew's birthday and a fan for my niece. Then did a little Internet.

Day 58

It was now time to get out of Bangkok. Made my way to the bus station and jumped on a bus to Ban Phe. I was on my way to another Island retreat, this time Ko Samet. Got a boat over to the Island, and got a bungalow at a resort called Malibu.

Day 59

Rained all fecking day. Highlight of which was me falling on my arse while climbing some rocks. I did however sort out a boat trip around the island that included some snorkeling

Day 60

Today was a beautiful sunny day. It was boiling hot, with not a cloud in the sky. I, of course, managed to get sunburn on my back. Not so bad that a little after sun wouldn't sort out. That night I fell a little ill probably due to swallowing to much seawater.

Day 61

Went on the boat trip around the island. Did some great snorkeling, went to see some turtles and stuff. It was a good day. However, my sunburn had now turned to blisters and I was in a lot of pain. I couldn't go on my back to go to sleep or anything.

Day 62

It was time now to get back to Bangkok ready to meet my tour group for Laos and Cambodia tomorrow. Got boat, got bus and bob's your uncle, back in Bangkok. Got little basic hotel room for the night and watched Wales bring in the grand slam. The emotion of the achievement made my blistered (and on fire) back feel cool, it was the first time we had done this in my lifetime and I was away. Bollocks.

Day 63

I made my way to the hotel to meet the Geckos tour group. The guide had arranged a meeting for 6pm. At the meeting we all started to get to know each other and we had a very mixed bunch. They were as follows:
Sandy - A rather camp middle aged Canadian
Leanne - A Canadian Woman in her thirties
Kristine - A very enthusiastic Canadian woman in her thirties
Jane - An Australian, around thirty
Candace - The most innocent 18 year old I've ever met, and from New Zealand
Sharen and Trevor - Not from up north, but from America and a jolly nice couple to boot.
Jenny and Xavier - One French, the other Swedish (brought up in Germany) but use English to speak to each other.
Nigel - My room mate from England.
Amy - Another Australian in her mid-twenties.
After the meeting we all went to dinner together. After the meal, myself and Nigel decided to go to a bar to watch the merseyside derby. We couldn't find anywhere, so it was 7-11 for some beers and back to the hotel to watch it.

Day 64

We went to Wat Pho, which was probably the only major attraction that I hadn't been to in Bangkok and the tour leader gave us some interesting insights. We then went to the grand palace and a boat ride along the canals. This boat ride was far more pleasant than the one discussed previously. Far more picturesque, with the tour guide giving info on the area. Tonight was the overnight train for chiang mai. Me and the crew of naughty people got some booze and snacks in for the train. I got drunk and fell asleep holding the bottle of cheap Thai Rum.

Day 65

Once we arrived in Chiang Mai we checked in and everyone sorted out what they wanted to do. I decided to go to the Elephant Park with Jayne, Trevor and Sharen. We were escorted by our tour guide's wife called Aow who had a far superior command of English and was jolly pretty too. Anyway, at the elephant park I saw my Camera almost get eaten, watched elephants paint, play football, dance, bathe and many other things. This may sound like exploitation, but it was done in a very caring way. Each graduated trainer gets his own Elephant for young and trains it throughout its life. Once back at the hotel it was time to go to the Thai cookery class that we had arranged that morning. We first went to the market to look and the different varieties of vegetables, herbs etc., and get told how to use them. The it was time to start the cooking. We made spring rolls, chilli+basil chicken, Thai green curry and a Deep fried Banana desert. That night people went to get their first Thai massage while, still with my blistered back beginning to shed skin, I went to get a few munchy snacks.

Day 66

We started early at 6:30 to head for the Laos border. We started off in an air-conditioned bus and then moved to a tiny local bus. At the border, we said our goodbyes to the guides and commenced our short boat ride across the Mekong to the Laos border port town of Huay Xai. This was a lovely little place, with very pleasant people. Our new tour leader (Tui, a bit of a ladies man!!) spoke to us for a little while, then exchanged some money for us (it was monopoly money I tell ya), and we all went for dinner together after watching the sunset. I ate a duck, with some rice, mmmmmmm. The town was having a festival up at its temple so we all went to have a look. It was little like a town fair, games and food stalls and dancing. It was interesting. This is where I got my first photographs of Buddhist monks. In this town I had my first taste of the local brew, a fine ale called BeerLaos, the one and only (in majority of cases) beer available in Laos. And many a happy time I shall have thinking of it.

Day 67

Today was the slow boat down the Mekong from Huay Xai to a tiny village called Pakbeng. The slow boat journey was meant to be about 6 hours but ended up taking almost 8. We saw some amazing scenery and we also got to visit a traditional Laos village. Our guide spoke to some of the locals and some of the women bought some of the hand woven fabrics. It was very interesting. We arrived at Pakbeng about 1 hour before the hordes of other backpackers turned up. We stayed in a guesthouse that was above a restaurant that was made from Bamboo. There was a warning that on the entrance to the rooms that you shouldn't keep food in your rooms because of rats. Everyone took their food out of their bags and took them downstairs for storage. That didn't stop the rats however. While we were at dinner, they shit on some of the peoples beds, bit through this bags in a look for toothpaste or whatever they could smell. It was hilarious, only myself and Amy got away scot-free!! I must admit, I barely had a wink of sleep that night due to the constant movement of the rats. They slammed in to things, I could hear them eating away at Nigel's bag, uhh. Lucky for me, a storm came that helped me go to sleep.

Day 68

It's kind of strange, but yesterday nights hell managed to bring the group closer together. We had a good laugh and joke at breakfast about everything. Today was a fast boat trip down the Mekong. We visited the Pak Ou caves, and the whiskey village. We tasted some of the "whiskey", and it was generally awful. But you could get it with spiders, scorpions, cobra's and other in the bottle with it. Interesting!! We arrived in the backpackers haven of Luang Prabang in the afternoon and went with Tui and the group for a walk around the town.

Day 69

Today was one of those days where everything you do seems to go perfectly. Nigel and I got up early and managed to fit in 5 temples (Wat Phu Si, Wat Xieng Thong, Wat Winsunalat, Wat Ahan and Wat Aphai), the royal Museum (just a big house that the king used to live in. It had some funny gifts from various countries. The pick of which was what looked like an Airfix kit of the moon land ship from the USA), changed money and got laundry done, all before lunch. After lunch we went to the Kuang Si waterfalls. We walked up to the top of this before having a bit of a swim in the ultra refreshing cool waters. On the way back in the Tuk-Tuk it started to rain, Nigel and I decided it was time to try out the Laos massage in the red cross center recommended in Lonely planet. In we went with it pissing down outside, had our 1 hour massage then we went for a steam bath. By the time we got out, it had stopped raining. We dropped our stuff off and went for something to eat. As we sat down, it started to rain again, than after we paid the bill, it stopped raining. One of the group spotted us having dinner and told us the girls had kept a table for us in the pub to watch to footy. These girls were getting trained up pretty quick!! Bye the time we got to the pub they had all left, however, the pub was packed and there was one table left, a prime table. Ahh the sweetness!! Watched the football, talked to a stunning Swedish girl who was with this dickhead who wouldn't even acknowledge her, and went home. On the way home, Nigel took a piss on something religious, it was funny!

Day 70

Today we were getting our flight to Vientiane then taking a 3 hour "chicken bus" ride to Vang Vieng. Due to our late night, Nigel and I had a little lye in. We had a late breakfast, changed some money, went on the internet and went with Trevor for a few beers while sharen had a massage. We all then met up and had lunch. We got to the Airport on time but the flight ended up being delayed by 20 minutes. The flight went ok though, there were a few rough patches. As soon as we got our bags we got straight on the transport and headed for Vang Vieng. Everyone was feeling quite sick on the ride, and because the roads were so bad, there was no way of getting any sleep. We arrived late, and everyone I think went straight to sleep.

Day 71

In the morning we visited the caves that lined the west bank of the Nam Song river. The afternoon was left up to us, with almost everyone going tubing. Basically, tubing is when you sit in a big rubber ring and let the current take you down river. This was fantastic, 3 and a half hours of sitting in a rubber ring with the water cooling you down while people on the side of the river pull you in for a beer Laos stop. Now that's a quality way to spend the afternoon. After that, a few of us watched the sun set over the mountains while having a few more beers. We all then went for food together, and I ate a whole chili that screwed me royally. Anyway, a few of us decided to stay out for a few drinks even though we had a very early start the next day. Myself and Amy were the last ones left, steaming we walked back to the hotel.

Day 72

This morning I felt terrible, the hangover was one of the worst I've ever had. Also, Amy had lost her passport, the first bit of drama on the tour. We got on the big bus and headed for Vientiane. I slept most of the way. As soon as we arrived, Nigel and I went to Buddha Park and the golden temple. We had to do this today, because everyone else was doing it tomorrow while we got our flight to Cambodia. After that, we went for a massage. Feeling relaxed, we then settled at a watering hole with some draught beer Laos and watched about a hundred young ladies do dance aerobics on the side of the beach. We all then met up and had dinner together. This was our last meal together and a rather strange affair. You get used to peoples company and then they just go, it's odd. Anyway, we took some group photo's and then headed back to the hotel. We all arranged to say our final goodbye's in the morning.

Day 73

The few of us that were going to Cambodia said goodbye to those carrying on to Vietnam this morning. Amy and Leanne would catch us up once Amy's passport debacle was sorted. So a hug and a kiss for the ladies and a firm handshake for the gentlemen. We then went for breakfast after which we got picked up to go to the airport. Everything went smoothly and I bought my first and last souvenir for Laos, a Beer Laos T-shirt. Quality. Once we arrived in Phnom Penh airport we got picked up by a representative from or tour group and got taken to the hotel. After dropping our stuff off, we walked to the National Museum (which had lots of bits and pieces from Angkor Wat) and then the Silver Pagoda. Both were not really as spectacular as I would have liked.
In the evening we met up with our new group. They were as follows: Laura - An 18 year old English girl, who reminded us of Keira Knightley a little
Susan - A young lady from Australia
Colin - A 20 year old Canadian
Christina - A 23 (I think) year old Australian
Kara - A late 30-something Australian
Bevan - A crazy (not in a good way) 60 year old Australian
Nigel - Same as before, my room mate
And Amy was to arrive tomorrow.
We all went for dinner apart from Bevan, who had already eaten. His eyes reminded me of Charles Mansons, and he always kept refusing to take his boots off. Bizarre!! Anyway, everyone was very nice

Day 74

Today we were going to discover about Pol Pot and the Khymer Rouge. First we went to Tuol Sleng Museum (or S21) which was where the Khymer Rouge tortured and killed thousands and thousands of people. We saw how people were tortured and why they were tortured. It was absurd, horrific and intriguing at the same time. Our guide told us how he had lost several members of his family here, and then told us that most Cambodians would have had at least one member of their family killed here. Out of the Hundreds of thousands of people who came to the detention center, only seven survived to tell the tale; and some of the high ranking officers of the Khymer Rouge are now holding office in the Cambodian government, and hold a majority of the countries wealth. After that, we went to the killing fields. This was an extremely somber affair. There was a giant pagoda filled with the skulls of those found in these fields. The guide showed us a few skulls and how these people must have been killed, from children smashed against a tree to headshots to adults. As we left there were all these children and people without limbs begging like hell. This was probably the most desperate country I have been to, or likely to. After this, we all went for a Khymer lunch that was very good. While the others went off to do what I had done yesterday, Nigel and I went to Wat Phnom, which was kind of unimpressive. Then we went for a blind massage (part of a empowerment for the disabled incentive by the government) that was quite superb. My masseuse even knew where Wales was, whereas these so-called "enlightened" monks didn't have a clue. Anyway, the group then got back together, went for food and we had a few drinks in to the night.

Day 75

An early start and we were making our way on bus to Siem Reap. We past through a place where spiders are a local delicacy (I didn't try any). Anyway, after arriving in Siem Reap we climbed to the top of Phnom Bakheng to watch the sunset. This was not possible because of the weather, it would have been a great picture. That night Amy, Nigel and myself went to a place called the dead fish to eat. The food was ok, but the place was also a crocodile farm (there were loads of the bastards), which showed traditional dancing, played Khmer music and had a kind of Swiss family Robinson vibe to it. It was class.

Day 76

Today we went to Ta Phrom, Bayon, Baphuon, the terrace of elephants, terrace of the Leper King, the south gate of Angkor Thom and of course, Angkor Wat. Some of this stuff was so impressive, but it was somewhat hampered by the amount and the attitude of the other tourists. Basically all Japanese. Anyway, some of the pictures I've got are breathtaking, but unfortunately, my camera battery ran out while in Angkor Wat. Due to this unforeseen problem, I now needed to buy some postcards of the change in the temples color as the sun was going down. I managed to haggle 2 postcards off a young boy for 200 Riel (about 2p). Once I realized how little I gave him, I was a little disappointed with myself, but then again, so what. Tonight we arranged to go to an all you can eat with traditional dancing. This was a little disappointing. Some of us then hung around in the hotel bar and arranged what we'd do tomorrow. Most of the group was going to wake up at 5 and go see the sunrise at Angkor Wat, then travel to some other temples. Screw that some us thought. Tomorrow was time to take it easy. Late breakfast, swimming and a massage was a call from the gods.

Day 77

Today was a total success. We all managed the late breakfast, we found a saltwater pool that had no-one else using it, and we all had our blind massage. My massage wasn't very good, and the owner apologized to me, because the person who gave me a massage had a few beers with lunch. Never mind, we all had a good laugh about it. We all then went for dinner in the evening, some of us then went to the Irish pub to drink in to the night. This girl from Ireland came up to me and recognized the accent, and she asked me where I was from. Turns out, she used to work in the cross keys in town, what a coincidence. I'm in Cambodia, and meet someone, not from Swansea, who used to work in a boozer I frequent. It was a good night.

Day 78

Feeling rough and another early start for the trip to Battambang (Colin turned up 5 minutes late, these Canadians eh!!). I tried to catch up on some sleep on the bus and boat to no avail!! I did however catch up a little sleep when we transferred to a pick up truck. After arriving in Battambang, we all had lunch and some went to walk around, while others (basically the people out late the night before) decided to have a little afternoon nap for about 6 hours. We all then had dinner together and then congregated on our balcony to tell stories in to the night.

Day 79

Today was just about traveling to the border. Nothing remarkable happened. We did however arrange what to do that evening. It was time to go to Pat Pong to take in one of their "shows". So after dinner Christine, Amy, Laura, Susan, Colin, Nigel and myself made our way to this sordid little area. First we had a little look around the market, while basically all of us trying to pluck up the courage. After getting put upon by all the touts, we just went somewhere for a drink. This wasn't a normal pub I can tell you. Anyway, after getting out of there, we went to the go-go bar called "Super Pussy". It was kind of funny, the two people who thought they wouldn't be shocked by this (me and Colin) were the ones most appalled by it all. The girls looked disinterested (possibly drugged, I don't know), and I hop no-one gets off on what they do. One funny thing was when one of the girls was opening bottles of water, and I gave her 100 Baht to shoot it in Nigel’s face, and fair dews, she got him. We then all went to a bar and had a few jars.

Day 80

Today was a relaxing day. Amy and I just chilled while walking around some markets (she wanted to get certain things, and I knew some places where she could get them) and then got a two hour Thai massage. This was the first Thai massage I had had, and it was rough. My bones must of cracked 20 times. We met for dinner, some then went to a night market while Colin, Amy and myself went back to my room for chats and to see Nigel off.

Day 81

There were now only a few of us left. Colin and Laura went to stay in another part of Bangkok, while Christina, Amy and myself were still in the same hotel. We all met for lunch and arranged to meet for dinner. I managed to get fined for dropping litter and we went to the cinema to watch "Hitch" which was shit!!

Day 82

I took Amy to Jim Thompson’s house and gave her a private tour as I had been there and now knew extensively about J.T. We then went to a hotel in search for a swimming pool, the one which we chose had a film being made while we were there. Weird.

Day 83

Went to the National Museum, did a little shopping, went for an oil massage and said goodbye to the last person from the group to leave, Amy.

Day 84 - 85

Yesterday and today I have spend my time typing up all about what I have done, maybe not as extensively as I would have liked, but I'll sort that out some other time. The rest of my time I have spent sorting out what I'm going to do in Australia.

Sabbadee (Hello) from Laos

How are things you crazy kids.

I know it has been a while, but I've been busy!!

Anyway, hopefully here's a starter, a taster as it were. I shall brief it at the moment and go in to more detail later.

Basically, I haven't go that much time right now so here's a summary.

Been snorkeling, sun bathing, sunburn, drinking, sleeping, seeing amazing scenery, eating gorgeous spicy Thai food, river kwai, death railway, Thai boxing, Thai dancing, temples, trains, buses, tuk tuk's, dodgy truck, motorcycle rickshaw, buddha's, football, elephants (ridden), Thai cookery, and got to Laos.

One funny story I shall tell you about is that I almost got my camera stolen / eaten by an Elephant. I bought some bananas and sugar cane for him and placed them around the wrist on which I had me camera. The greedy cunt (sorry!!) then grabbed all the bananas as well as sugar cane along with my camera. He was about to shovel it in to his gob before I snapped it from his jaws (the last bit is slightly more dramatic than it sounds, I didn't even notice that the camera was gone). Then I watched the bastard paint something better than what I can do, tell you what, people say Elephants never forget. I wont forget this grey animal for quite a while.

More quality stories where that baby came from. Update soon!! And pics, I promise!!

Bow-Thai

Hello,

Since I spoke to you last, few things have changed. I have a little bit of a tan on my neck, arms and face. Nothing else, as I like to be a little bit covered and I don't like wearing shorts, apart from during sport!! Anyway, on to what I've been up to.

Day 37 - Still in Kuala Lumpur

The first thing I did was go to the post office to send off some postcards (addresses please if you want one!!) to some friends. I then had a little wander around the Chinatown area, which was like most other chinatown's I've been to. Off to the park area I went, as this had most of the interesting things to do in the city. I went to the Muslim museum which had some excellent displays of ancient Muslim art. Also, while walking to the museum, I saw some little monkeys being fed by a guy on a scooter. Took some pics of those little rascals. My personal highlight of the park was the bird park. This is where I've finally got some quite stunning photographs. I saw flamingo's, hornbills, peacocks, parrots, Emu's, eagles and many more; most of whom were free to roam due to this park being undercover from a huge net. I spend my last little bit of money to enter the park, and after a few hours of walking around, I was dehydrating and made my way back in to town to find an ATM and get a cold drink. On my way in to town, this man started speaking to me. Asking me where I was from, how long had I stayed, how long was I on "vacation" for etc.. He then asked me to have a sit down and he started talking to me about his daughter going over to England to become a nurse. I was very pleasant, he then started saying that his wife had been taken sick, due to the worry for his daughter. He said he wanted me to speak to his daughter on the phone, I obliged using his mobile. But she couldn't really understand a word I was saying, and I asked her where she was going and I don't think she knew. I started thinking that I may be being scammed straight away as this man started speaking to me, but now he was asking me to go to his house to speak to his daughter. He said that he would drive me there and back, I declined nicely. I thought this could be a number of things, he's a pimp trying to get someone for one of his girls, he could try and kidnap me, mug me or even murder me (I've been reading my serial killer book, you see). I left him after making my excuses. Still dehydrating, I finally managed to find an ATM and went to a 7-11 for a cold Ribena, lolly and a bottle of water. I then proceeded to walk back to the hotel. Now today, the temperature reached a highpoint, 41 degrees. That's how I burnt, I put factor 38 on and it didn't give me the immense protection that was needed. Anyway, after walking 3 hours to get back to the hotel, I passed an Indian not far from the hotel. I decided that I would dine there tonight. I got back to the hotel and slumped on to my bed, shattered, burnt and feet aching. At around 8pm I ventured out for my meal, and very nice it was to.

Day 38

I stayed up late to watch the football (kick off was 3:30 am here), and it was good to see Arsenal lose. I got up then around lunch time and went for a swim in the hotel's swimming pool for a couple of hours, just keeping cool. Reading in the newspapers about the large scale worries of Dengu fever and bird flu is a little bit of a concern. But, they have this sort of thing every year, and forest fires as well. So what's the problem. Today I saw my first droplets of rain in over a month. A boiling hot, tropical rainstorm. I stayed up tonight to watch Man Utd. Fell asleep during the match but woke up seconds before Crespo scored his goal, bollocks.

Day 39

I spent most of today making the decision, using research, about what was the best way to get to my chosen destination. That destination being and Island off the east coast of Thailand called Ko Samui. To go by Air, train or some other way. The factors being involved were cost, but mainly time. I decided to go by a combination of Train and boat. After sorting this out, it was time to do my last bit of tourism in Kuala Lumpur, go up the KL Tower to get a panoramic view of the city. Once that was over and done with, I went to a "healthy eating" restaurant and had chicken and chips. This gave me a bad stomach.

Day 40

Had a bit of a rest during the day and eventually went shopping to see if I could find a new pair of sunglasses. I couldn't. My god, some of the stuff here was cheap. A pair of Diesel jeans were 12 quid, I would have bought 3 or 4 pairs if I had the room in my bag. Anyway, after eventually finding my way out of this huge mall (took about 4 hours to walk around it), I made my way back to the hotel. The evening was going to include some drinking in the sports bar, where they had a buy one get one free promotion. Classic. So, I went down, spent 4 and a half hours partaking in this brilliant offer before I asked the barmaid if there were any good nightclubs near. She gave me a slip of paper, which after I finished off my final beer, I handed to a kindly taxi driver. I can't remember the name of the place, but no the way there, my taxi driver was offering me girls from all over Indochina. I said no, saying that my girlfriend would kill me. Anyway, I went round a few bars, the place was bouncing, in time I was steaming. I got in a taxi, with no money on me, and went back to the hotel. When we arrived at the hotel, I told the taxi driver that I needed to go to the ATM. I didn't, I just told the night porter that the taxi driver was trying to do me over for money. The night porter then told the driver to get lost, and I didn't have to pay for the taxi. Sweet.

Day 41

Hangover, went to the train station and got my ticket to Hat Yai (the bottom train station in Thailand) for a 2nd class sleeping birth. I had 7 or 8 hours to waste before the train departs. Had some lunch, bought a phone card. Phoned some of my friends up as this phone card seemed to have loads of time on it for some reason. Eventually after walking around the station for hours, looking in every shop, eating chicken in a Kenny Rogers outlet, my train arrived. There were lots of other backpackers in the carriage. I was on the top bunk, which was a nightmare to get up and down. There didn't seem to be anywhere to put our backpacks though. So we all had to sleep with them. Despite being a clean and tidy train, at one point we had to stop for quite a while due to the electricity going out. Some of the track must be in one hell of a state because of the bumpy ride, my head literally hit the partition while I was sleeping.

Day 42

Woke up several times throughout the night due to the bumpy nature of the ride. Got up properly at 10 o'clock. We still hadn't arrived at the border yet, as it turned out, the train was quite a long time behind schedule. About 3 to 4 hours I think. Eventually we got to the border. We were ordered off the train to go to immigration. We all left our backpacks and stuff on the train while we went in to get all the passport business sorted. We were not allowed back on to the train for some reason, so I started speaking to the other backpackers from the carriage. There were a bunch of lads from Liverpool and two girls from Finland. The girls from Finland, were actually going to the same destination as myself, so I tagged along with them. At one point at the border station, the train left the platform, with all our stuff still on it, and we didn't get told what was going on. After about 3/4 of an hour it returned after getting rid of a few carriages. Phew. Back on we went and on to Hat Yai. When we arrived in Hat Yai, we were set upon by many touts. Not taking notice of any of them, myself and the 2 girls from Finland (actually sisters, even though they didn't look alike at all) went straight to the information booth and got a timetable for trains going to Surat Thani, which is the port town where we'll get a boat over to Samui. We sorted out our train tickets (2nd class, air conditioned), and had a couple of hours to kill, so we went all went for some food and a drink. We went to a cafe for some proper Thai food, I had Thai Red curry and they both had Thai Green curry accompanied by some Thai beer. Excellent, and all came to about a fiver for all of us together. Time to go to the train station, the train was due to leave at 2:35, eventually it departed at 3:25. Oh my god, I wish we hadn't gone for the Air conditioning, it was bloody breezing. It was so cold, some officials came around giving us blankets. I can only assume that there was a problem with the Air con. Anyway, we got to Surat Thani at 9pm. We were met by a lot of touts yet again, but we were planning on getting the night boat. We were asked what we were up to by a local man, who turned out to be a hotel owner, and he said he'd give us a room and bus+boat for the following day. Myself and the girls went with it, and he gave us a car ride to his hotel, quite some distance away. The Banton Inn is where he took us to, it was clean and basic. We dropped our bags in, paid the man, then thought about what to do for the rest of the evening. I took us to an all you can eat BBQ place that cost about a quid for the all you can eat. You went up and picked your meat, veg etc, and cooked it yourself. We had a couple of drinks then walked back to the hotel. Once back in the hotel, I find that I've left my plug adaptor in the last hotel. Gutted as now I can't recharge my iPod, which really needs it.

Day 43

Wake up call at 7am, shower, pack everything up, bus was arriving at 7:30. Bus was late, it went around picking others up, and eventually got to the boat place at 8am. Got our tickets, and went on to the boat. We had to sit on deck as there was no more room to sit. It was nice though, we were on the side that wasn't in direct sunlight, so I didn't need lotion and there was a nice breeze. It was strange setting off though, a bit like a Vietnam war film, with the scenery and all. While on the boat we saw some flying fish and other marine life jumping about in the water. It was stunning. After a 3 hour boat ride, we eventually arrived at Ko Samui. We organised a bloke to take the girls to their place and me on to anywhere that wasn't full. I saw them off, wished them all the best. I must admit, it was getting a bit of a nightmare, trying to get somewhere here. It is especially popular with tourists, old and young. I must admit, I would rather the old (probably German) people cover up a bit more. An old man in short shorts, old lady's in skimpy bikini's isn't a nice sight for anyone. Anyway, I eventually got my place. It is a lovely bungalow, with Fan, air con, hot water, fridge and TV. I have a little walk around the local area and stop for some food. There is quite a lot to do on the Island, so I plan on what I'm going to do. I think I saw some advertisement for a shooting range or something, I'll have to do that. Elephant trekking: yes; kyaking: yes.

Day 44

What lovely weather. The only problem with this place is that it's extremely touristy. Loads of ex-pat pubs, it reminded me a little of those Spanish resort areas. Anyway, today I checked my e-mail (took me like 2 hours), then had a spot of lunch. After lunch, it was time to actually do something, so I had a walk around the area to see what's what. I booked my flight to Bangkok for Sunday in a tourist information office and proceeded to walk on for a few hours. In the blistering heat, I was suffering and I got a taxi to what I wanted to do first, the shooting range. This was sweet, but quite expensive. I first tried a magnum, as the instructor said it was good for first timers. I did pretty well with that at a distance of 10 meter's. The bullet holes it put through my target sheet were quite alarmingly large. Anyway, next up was a rifle, shooting a target at 25 meters. The dude told me that the sight and barrel weren't correctly lined up, so for me to aim to the top left. Ok, I tried. But I don't think I'll be becoming a sniper or assassin any time soon. I think I would have been better with a pistol from the distance. What a noise these bastards make as well, it was awesome. The lady cashier took some pictures of me with the rifle which was quite cool. A little disturbing however, because, you never know where these pictured may end up. Anyway, time to get some food and drink for the evening, and relax in my cabin. My word, they had a tesco. Class, I got some French bread, meat etc., and set of back to my room and promptly collapsed on to my bed. Tomorrow I shall be booking my kyaking and going down the beach to do some sunbathing (or should that be burning) and reading.

Bye now!!

Singapore Sling

I know I haven't updated you for a while so this one will not be particularly long!! Sorry if you lose interest, I'll keep it as short as possible!!

Day 24 - Chinese Lunar New Year's Day - This was a bit of a bust. There was nothing scheduled as such for today, just a day off for most people. The Shops were open and I sent all of you an e-mail and that was about it. I decided to go to Hong Kong Island the following day as I had had enough of being hassled in the street by Indian Tailors wanting to make me a suit, and people pestering me for charity.

Day 25 - In the morning I went across to Hong Kong Island by the ferry. It was quite surprising that the Hong Kong waters are very choppy, but I got a beautiful view of the cityscape. I got to my hostel, and got a single bedroom with a shared bathroom. It seemed that in the living area meant for myself and the people next door was being used, in the main, by the maids of the place. We didn't mind as they were very nice and extremely good at their job.

The first thing I had to do on Hong Kong Island was to go to the "Peak Tram". This is one of the tourist "highlights" of Hong Kong. Basically, it's a tram that goes up a hill with quite a steep incline. But, from the top of this hill, you can get some beautiful panoramic views and take a walk or two around Hong Kong's less populated and green hill areas. There was a huge queue for the tram, and as with everything here, they tried to flog other things to become a package (in this case Madame Tussauds with David Beckham and Jackie Chan; or the freak show museum). I declined the offer and just went for the tram. The tram in fact was more like the longest ride to the top of a rollercoaster, on a wooden seat, with some wonky floor so that people could stand without falling or slipping. Once at the top, there were cafe's, bar's and shops. The observation decks didn't have very good views, so I decided to do the 2.5km tree walk. This was very pleasant, and did provide me with some good views, but most views were obscured by the haze from the city. On the way back down the hill, I had to stand. I wasn't very comfortable standing as I had some woman pointing her ass into the bottom of my back meaning that I couldn't stand properly. Fat assed cow!! Oh yeah, I thought this tram wasn't very far away from my hostel so I walked. After te time it took me to do that, I thought I would get the tram back.

After getting back to the hostel, it was time for a shower and a wander down to the harbor to see the fireworks. In the end they were just fireworks, nothing too impressive and nothing memorable to tell you about them. Boom..................Boooooooom. That's about it.

Day 26 - Today I did very little. I met the people who were staying next door. They were a couple of girls from New Zealand. They were very friendly and we traded some stories about friends etc.. So as I was about to leave to do some things I set out to do for the day, they arranged to meet me back at the hotel to go out for the evening. Sounds good to me, I hadn't had a social night out in a while. Anyway, more about that later. I set off to go and see Singapore Airlines about confirming my flight to Singapore in a few days. Got that done, had a look around some shops, and I went back to my room for a little siesta. I back up with the girls at 6pm who promptly told me that their friend (who's 17 and shagging her 31 year old hockey coach) would be joining us for the evenings festivities. First off we had a few beers in the room and all got to know each other a bit better, then off in to town. We started off in an irish bar, had a little food and some drinks. Then on to this, I think it was a mexican theme, bar where we had a few more drinks. It was quite funny, every time particular songs came on the bar maids had to get on the bar and dance, there was a Shakira impersonator (who we thought was miming, but she wasn't), and they were giving free "lay backs" (just pouring tequila and lime cordial straight into your mouth) at the bar. We then went to a club where we met up with some New Zealand, Australian and Samoan Rugby players. The majority of which were huge, but could barely put two sentences together. Anyway, we stayed there and eventually got in at about 5am.

Day 27 - Suffering from a bit of a hangover, I woke at 11. I went to go and see the Bronze Buddha on Lantau Island. I had to get a long underground train followed by a small bus packed with eager tourists (probably not sporting a supreme hangover). I have to admit, it was a let down, and off I went wondering why I bothered. Back to the hotel, I had a little nap, then it was time for me to go and get some food and maybe be a little more constructive with my time. So, I found a supermarket where they sold Marmite and Salt and vinegar crisps among other things. Sweet!! After having some food, I went and booked my tour going from Thailand to Laos to Cambodia back to Thailand in time for my flight to Australia. After that, I just chilled with the Girls.

Day 28 - I spent most of today looking around shops, as it was my last day in Hong Kong there was little else to do. I did go to the cinema to see "Meet the Fockers", which I quite enjoyed. I just generally was thinking about what I was going to do next in the rest of Asia. Anyway, I packed up my stuff so that I'd be ready to rock bright and early.

Day 29 - This is how you should be able to get to an Airport. Underground to a central station, central station straight to Airport via express train. All done in about 30 mins. I checked my stuff in, and the woman at the counter commented on the fact that I had so many tickets. I got given a thorough search, as always due to my steel toecap boots. I was hungry, I hadn't eaten in a while, so I saw something I hadn't seen since heathrow.........Burger King. "I think I'll have large whopper meal please"........mmmmmmmmmm. Anyway, I then had a quick look around duty free and boarded my plane. I tell you, if I can afford it after this trip, I think I'll only ever fly singapore airlines. They couldn't do enough. The in-flight meal (of which I had choice of 3) was delicious. Chicken and Pasta, fish with vegetables and some ice cream for desert. I only had the chance to watch one film on the plane, which was "Sideways". Very funny, with some iconic comedy moments. The airport in singapore has its own Cinema, swimming pools and god know what else. That's all I noticed.

Went straight to my hostel called "The Inncrowd" in the little India area of singapore. I went in the wrong direction initially and in the stifling heat with a large rucksack, it wasn't too clever. They were very friendly in there and all staff remembered my name throughout my stay. I got given te last bed and a dress to take part in the drag competition (It was a spiffing tight black evening dress). I needed a shower, then to get ready. By the time I got there (with my dress in my bag), the contest was already underway. Gutted (not!!), I just decided to watch and have a few beers. All the guys and girls there really took to it (probably because of the booze) and we all talked together and had a laugh in to the early hours.

Day 30 - I had to get a bed move, due to the fact I took the last bed the night before, and the bed I had was meant for two people. I put some Laundry in to be done and went to go on a tour to the Singapore Island of Santosa. I got a cable car from the mainland to the island (it stopped half way across), then met the tour guide and the other people who were going to join our group. First we went to the butterfly place, where I took some splendid photos of all things, butterflies. I think I got bitten to hell in this place!! I don't think I missed a calling as a wildlife photographer however. We then went to "Underwater world". This is exactly what it says, one of those places with a tunnel with tanks all around full of fish. Some of the tropical fish were beautiful (I was surprised how well, now, finding Nemo was done), but the piranhas at the place weren't eating anything. Boring!! We had quite a while to spend in there (too long), so I ventured outside to have a look at some of the beaches. Oh my god, immaculate (like everything in singapore), stunning. Anyway, the bus turned up and it was time to go see the pink dolphin show. It was quite funny, a bit over the top for my tastes. A dolphin doing loads of tricks is just shit really. I should get to see some naturally in Thailand. The last part of my tour of the Island was "Cinemania", an interactive cinema experience. All it was, was a car you sat in and it reproduced the moves of what was happening on screen. Quite violent movements though!! I then walked around the beaches and later on got the cable car back.

Day 31 - I picked up my Laundry and had to kill time until I had to go the the night safari. So, I went to the Singapore Science centre. No where near as good as the one in Hong Kong, but alright all the same, a bit too child oriented!! The fee did include an IMAX film called mystic india. This film was basically an advert for the indian tourist board, and had a lot of bad acting, a poorly written narrative and almost cliché image of what india is. In the pamphlet that came along with the film, it says that it cost a fortune to make. It bugged me, a 40 minute advert that was meant to be about a great spiritual leader in India. I can't spell his name however, as I'm not sure of the correct way, it sounded as if it had a highly offensive swear word in it. Put it that way.
After this, it was on the night safari. I saw some lions, tigers, hyenas, rhino's, big bastard bats, tree leaping leopards, flying squirrels etc.. The oddest thing I saw were these big rodent things that are found in South American. They almost looked like hamsters, but about the size of a pig. Scary stuff indeed. It was a strange deal. You could pay to take the ride around the park and do one optional walk, or you could do half the ride and walk the rest, or walk it all. I walked half, most people seemed to be scared. They didn't seem to realise that the walkways were totally safe. There was a disclaimer on the ticket though.

Day 32 - I ventured to the train station to enquire about a train ticket to Kuala Lumpur. I couldn't believe the railway station was in such a crap state or area. There was no subway near, and no sign posts going to it. Maybe no one really uses it. air flights being so cheap. So I looked at the price, and made note of the times. I then went to send some books and shit I picked up along the way back home. Quite expensive if I do so so. Anyway, I then went to have a look at some shops. What kind of stuff do you buy when you are abroad, designer stuff, leather, silk. Not me, I went to a top man and bought myself four new plain t-shirts, and went to a book shops and bough a book on Serial Killers. After hours of walking around, I went back to the hostel. I started speaking with these people from wales and one of them gave me his book on south east asia, which I needed and wasn't willing to buy. After that, some people whom I had introduced myself to earlier came in and invited me out with them later. Cool. I went and got some food and then we went out. Had a good laugh, it was one of their's birthday. A londoner, an Irish fella and a canadian all joined in the fun!! Twas a good laugh!!

Day 33 - Today was a rest day. Had some food and plenty of liquids. I wandered around some of the shops in the Little India district, and got myself a big dragon henna tattoo on my forearm. Sorted out plane ticket for following day, no frills airline 9 quid!

Day 34 - Kuala Lumpur airport then straight to the hotel I had booked a few days ago. The crown princess hotel. There seemed to be some qualifying match for the cricket world cup coming up and one of the teams are staying in the hotel. I think it may my the kenyan cricket team, but I don't recognise any of them.

Day 35 - Went to some of the shops close by. I went to the twin towers of Kuala Lumpur which are now the tallest of their kind in the world, due to 9/11. Loads of shop and restaurants, almost too much choice. Don't know what to look at. That have some odd and quite funky shops here, but most are just chains. The food courts here are awesome, any kind of food you want, I mean it. I went out had a couple of beers while watching the football in a bar near the hotel. Crap match, then again, what do you expect, it was tottenham.

Day 36 - That brings me to today, may actually do some sightseeing today. Not sure yet, I haven't done anything today and it's already lunch time!! Got to go!!